“Just Write” Link-Up With The Extraordinary-Ordinary

just writeJust Write. This is a blogger link up to Just Write every Tuesday over there at The Extraordinary Ordinary blog by Heather King– to write sort of free association, whatever pops in our heads. It’s my first time participating, but I see that this is the 76th week these bloggers have linked up their “Just Writes.” Wow.

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Okay. Here goes.

I'm not blonde but this picture makes me happy. Especially since I currently have this back issue. I think even when I'm 80 I'll still think of myself like this.

I’m not blonde but this picture makes me happy. Especially since I currently have this back issue. I think even when I’m 80 I’ll still think of myself like this.

Having been confined to my home for the most part over the last four weeks, I’ve been able to focus on writing for the first time in my life, actually. I’ve always been a journaler, developed content for newsletters and things. I was a staff writer for a monthly publication in college way back when, and editor for my sorority; but my career path after graduation plopped me in sales.

I had a solid career in advertising sales for interesting magazines–Modern Bride, Bon Appetit—I would write letters, proposals, marketing, that sort of thing.  And I’d look longingly over at the editorial department, plugging away on their PCs developing great content out of any number of subjects. I wanted to be over there, in that department. But I kept getting promoted in sales.

I’d inquire sometimes about writing, in a round-about way so the real editors didn’t think I actually thought I was a writer. I would make a suggestion, catch an error, forward a trend that could become a feature piece for the upcoming issue.

But after a few years I pretty much resigned to myself that I was a salesperson, not writer; and I accepted that I would probably never be a writer. Besides, I made more money in sales, purchased a house on my own, paid off student loans, paid for a beautiful wedding, traveled.

I wrote two books which I never showed to anybody.  The first one was called the Mind, Body, Spirit Approach to Recovery.  I still have the manuscript and laugh at myself for how smart I thought I was! I wrote a lot about mitochondria for some reason?  But this was fifteen years ago, so shoot me.

And I wrote another book called, “We Were Scared, Too,” in which I interviewed women around the country who had unplanned pregnancies and made the most difficult of choices: not to abort. I told their stories–I had so much admiration for these women and I wanted to show other girls caught in the same position, that yes it may be really, really difficult; but you will be okay–I worried about the emotional and spiritual ramifications abortion has on the individual woman.  One of my best friends went through this.

I ended up putting their stories on a stagnant web site on WordPress here.

I remember always enjoying writing, filling pages and pages with surprising ease. Way back in my teen years, I developed a journaling habit I continue to this day. Each entry starts with Dear God:

So, Dear God: thanks for everything, really. I am blessed with so much, the husband and children—WHY can’t I write the word, “kids?” Why does that word flow out of my head, but I won’t let myself type it?  Kids are baby goats, not baby humans, I remember my mother mentioning once.

So, I thank you God for my children.  I thought about getting a goat when we moved to this old house, but Husband said it would eat all of our azaleas.

Dear God: thanks for these two herniated discs. Because of this, I’ve been able to really focus on writing. Not sure if I’m any good at it, but boy do I enjoy the heck out of it.  Signing up for WordPress’ post-a-day in 2013 really helped me make the commitment.  So, yay for that!

Today I go to the doctor and find out if surgery is on the horizon.  In a way, I hope it is so I can just get this thing fixed and get back to my life.  But I am sort of enjoying all this Husband driving the carpool and doing the grocery shopping thing.

Flesh and Blood

Holy-Eucharist-catholicism-133989_482_493This blog has been a saving grace for me over the last three weeks.  I’ve been confined to my home, mostly to my bed or couch because of a herniated disc in my lower back.  The pain is bad and it seems my left leg muscles are starting to atrophy a little bit from the encroached nerve and non-use.  (whine)

Blogging each day, committing to being part of  WordPress’  “post-a-day-2013” is therapeutic and an enjoyable way to pass the time. I’ve discovered wonderful Catholic blogs “out there”, as well as hope-filled sobriety ones. Funny how I have come to know many of you–your personalities, simply by reading your words every day.

Prior to this, I’d been a four or five times per week meeting maker in AA.  The meetings are key for me in helping me stay out of my own head, which eagerly waits for me to put my guard down so it can recommend a drink to ease my suffering.  So, this online world has become my temporary meeting spot..the place where I come to read the experience, strength and hope from others and share my own when appropriate.

Many thanks to these bloggers for keeping me on my 12-step toes: Bye Bye Beer, Message In A Bottle, Sober Catholic, Emotional Drinking, Running on Sober, Sober Boots, The Bubble Hour, The Miracle Is Around the Corner and many others…

And since nothing can replace actual flesh and blood, I am so grateful that my sponsor AF and her sponsor SZ brought a meeting to me, since I couldn’t make one in person.  They came to my house on Friday, drank tea with me, read from the Big Book and just talked Steps.  AF was coy to point out too that I could use this time to work on my 4th Step, which I am still procrastinating.  ha ha. Maybe I will work on it today?

I typically don’t ever have the desire to drink anymore. One of the benefits of being sober for a while (define: “for a while”) is the desire to drink pretty much disappears.  Therefore, I’ve spent the big chunk of my time in here reading not recovery but Catholic blogs.  Out in the “real world,” or at least in my real world, I don’t encounter people every day who explore their love of the faith.  So, it’s wonderful to hang out in here with you all, especially these: Biltrix, Conversion Diary, and all the blogs that branch out from Conversion Diary through Jennifer Fulwiler’s 7 Quick Takes Fridays.

But since again nothing here can replace flesh and blood, I am sad to be missing Mass, unable to receive the body and blood of Jesus.  I live a distance away from my parish so I hate to ask our pastor (who no doubt is busy tending to other more pressing matters) to bring the holy Eucharist to me; but maybe my Mom can bring me communion some time later this week.  She receives an email every time I post so she’ll be getting this request soon enough!  XOXO