Bruce Willis Has a Little Wine “Mostly” With Meals

GoodDaytoDieHardWillisfcTsrYipfull (1)Yippee-ki-yay-mother-Russia.  I know it’s not an intellectual thing to say, but I LOVE action movies. Especially action movies with big strong handsome men who save the world from the bad guys.  Today, Bruce Willis‘ new (DieHard5) movie “A Good Day to Die Hard,” hits movie theatres around town.

If I didn’t have this stupid back trouble we’d probably be having a Valentine’s Day date night, going to see this movie after sushi at Mizu.  sigh.  You can watch the initial trailer here.

This article/video today from Huffpo Live, Bruce Willis Talks Getting Sober, describes how Willis says in a recent interview that he started drinking again.

“I had been sober [for a while]. But once I realized that I wasn’t gonna run myself off the pier of life with alcohol, drinking vodka out of the bottle every day … I have wine now, mostly when I eat.”

The knee-jerk (maybe when we’re being a little “holier-than-thou”) reaction from those of us in the “recovery community” is to gasp at this type of statement, especially coming from a celebrity.  Doesn’t he know once an alcoholic always an alcoholic?  What if he makes other alcoholics think they too can have wine with meals? Wine with meals—harmftt! Denial.

But what does Bruce Willis drinking again have to do with my own recovery–nada.  It just makes me tense up a little, hoping he doesn’t get drunk in public and mess up a good thing.

We have to remember that by nature we alcoholics drink mostly because we like the effect it has on us. And even after a long period of sobriety, if we decide to take a drink–however nonchalantly, innocently–we’re eventually right back where we left off. And we love it.  That feeling that to us surpasses all understanding…the buzz. I don’t think this is what Jesus was talking about in Philippians 4:7.

To an alcoholic, a buzz is not just a buzz.  A buzz is a spiritual experience.

Heather King (she is a Catholic contemplative and sober writer-find her at Shirt of Flame.) describes this perfectly in an interview she did back in 2010 with Monsignor Lorenzo Albacete and Crossroads Cultural Center,

“The first time I drank was a religious experience. Unfortunately for an alcoholic who has this neurological mis-wiring, neurological glitch such that when you take a drink you’ve ceded all free will. Eventually this mental obsession, physical craving (it might take a while) is going to set up, and it progresses. But the very first time I drank, it was that feeling I’d looked for my whole life—I love everybody; everybody loves me. And it lasted a very short period of time before I had a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality.” Heather King

It’s not about what kind of alcohol I drink; it’s about the effect the alcohol has on my brain, the brain of an alcoholic.  To understand the neurological workings of an alcoholic brain, click here.

bruce-willis-covers-gq-march2013

Cover of next month’s (March 2013) GQ Magazine

I was 3 years sober when I decided to “have a glass of wine with dinner.”  Why not?  I can handle it.  I hadn’t drank in three whole years–so obviously, I’d licked this thing.  So on our anniversary in 2009, at a romantic bed and breakfast in the North Georgia mountains, I had a yummy glass of red wine.  Then I had two chardonnays with dinner.

I woke up the next morning and told my husband, “It’s no big deal, honey. I like being sober better. That was a fluke.”

A week later, I had wine when my husband and I went out for sushi.  A couple of weeks after that I had several beers at our neighborhood Christmas party. Within three months I was back to my old ways, drinking every evening, trudging through the days, hung over.

Two people can drink the same drink, the same amount.  The alcoholic has an entirely different internal biological chemical experience than the non-alcoholic.  For you non-alcoholics out there, you’re missing out!  lol.  But seriously, I hope Bruce succeeds in his “controlled drinking” experiment.  He’s a bigger man than I.  It took me a couple of years to get back on track after deciding it was okay to have a little wine with meals.

As a “word girl,” I immediately noticed his use of the word, “mostly.”  At least he’s honest.  Mostly he only drinks wine with meals, but sometimes he drinks it all by its self.  That’s when the best buzzes happen–on empty stomachs.

Here is a blog post from a couple of weeks ago talking about how “real men” (yes, that included Bruce Willis) do get sober.  Not anymore.

Intimacy Between Mother and Son

Jesus at Wedding of CanaLast Sunday’s Gospel reading is one of my all-time favorites.  So many good things in it–and there was wine!

Jesus performs his very first public miracle.  How cool is that?

And his mother Mary is involved. She instructs them to, “Do whatever he tells you.” Simple advice for all of us!

But mostly in this Gospel I especially love the interaction between Jesus and his mom–having two sons of my own, I imagine the underlying messages in Jesus and Mary’s exchange.

Woman, how does your concern affect me?”

This makes me laugh. I LOVE THIS.

“Woman.”  Many writers have made note that at first glance this sounds a little disrespectful.  But not willing to concede that Jesus was ever disrespectful to his mom, thankfully, more context is given which shows how the norms of the culture and language of Jesus’ day makes this address make sense.

To me, a mother of two sons ages 10 and almost 13, I don’t see disrespect at all—and I’m not an ancient culture or language scholar. I see humor, intimacy, a little sarcasm and a knowing smile behind Jesus’ chosen words to his mother in Cana.

Humor?  Sarcasm?  Where do I get that?

So, for example, my boys joke around with me all the time as a sign of affection.  I think they get this from their father.  When a boy teases a girl, it’s his way of showing her he likes her.  It starts way back in grade school.

The other day I mentioned to Ben, “Ben, we really need to rake the yard or the grass isn’t going to grow this spring.”

Ben answered, “Yeah, Mom, we really do. (pointing) The rake is right over there.”

Of course, he grins when he says this and we both know my little phlegmatic-sanguine child will comply with my request.  But he’s got to mess with me a little bit first.

Little boys—including Jesus—-love their mamas.

Jesus also uses, “Woman,” to address Mary Magdalene in John 20:15, saying, “Woman, why are you weeping?”  He knows why she’s weeping — she came to the tomb and his body was gone.  Next thing Jesus says in John 20:16 is “Mary!  Like, “Hello?  It’s me.  I’m here. It’s okay.”

Last Sunday’s Gospel John 2:1-11

There was a wedding at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the wedding. When the wine ran short, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servers, “Do whatever he tells you.” Now there were six stone water jars there for Jewish ceremonial washings, each holding twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus told the them, “Fill the jars with water.” So they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, “Draw some out now and take it to the headwaiter.” So they took it. And when the headwaiter tasted the water that had become wine, without knowing where it came from — although the servers who had drawn the water knew —, the headwaiter called the bridegroom and said to him, “Everyone serves good wine first, and then when people have drunk freely, an inferior one; but you have kept the good wine until now.” Jesus did this as the beginning of his signs at Cana in Galilee and so revealed his glory, and his disciples began to believe in him.