35 More to 50

photoHusband and I are not very good communicators. Whomever invented texting saved my marriage because although we aren’t good telling each other how we feel or even talking about the budget, we are good at texting. And we flirt via text.

When Monsignor Richard Lopez married us 15 1/2 years ago, we thought marriage would be easy. At least I did. I thought certainly it would be easier than dating–and we could live in the same house.

But these last couple of years have been hard. Like, really hard. Financially, emotionally, miscarriage, alcohol, relationally, just hard.

Sometimes I stop and think about how grateful I am that we were married in the Church, that we had a nuptial Mass and were surrounded by all of our family and friends. I am grateful our marriage is so blessed. Because it takes supernatural grace to sustain marriages through hard times. God is definitely responsible for these 15 years.

I thought about this and texted Husband a little bit ago. I wrote, “15 Years is a long time.” And he made my day when he wrote back, “35 more to 50.”

I think about the debate going on right now in this country regarding gay “marriage.” It doesn’t make sense to me that two people of the same sex could be married. But I think it’s only a matter of time before it’s the law of the land. Just like contraception and abortion. These things change society. Whole cultures change based on these types of things.

But for me, and for my family, we’re Catholic first.

12 thoughts on “35 More to 50

  1. Great post! Thanks for sharing. It’s nice to know that my wife and I are not the only ones with difficulty in communicating. And you hit the nail on the head for me when you said “it takes supernatural grace to sustain marriages.” If it weren’t for our shared faith, our difficulties would have been multiplied many-fold. I am in awe that the very event (sacramental wedding in Mass) that gave our union legitimacy is the same source of sustenance for our marriage. Thanks!

  2. Exactly right. I call on that supernatural grace of marriage frequently, prefacing it with, “Lord, you promised….” My husband and I have a long and blessed marriage. It’s worth all the little sacrifices that seem so big at the time. Today we go to the wake of a 49-year-old husband who died of a heart attack in the middle of the night. It puts it all in perspective.

    • ugh oh nancy life is so precarious and you are so right we need to keep it all in perspective. 35 years to 50 may not ever happen! we need to enjoy each day, just as it comes, one day at a time, as a gift from our Creator. XO

  3. My husband and I celebrate 28 years of happy, but at times challenging marriage this coming July and I agree with you that supernatural grace is what keeps our marriage strong. In my work, I am privileged to meet many couples who have been married 40, 50, 60 years or more and I draw inspiration from the way they care for and honour each other. They are truly living out the vows of “in sickness and in health, till death do us part.”

  4. Very sweet, Regina! It’s 18 years for us, and sometimes it feels like it was just two or three years ago we got together. Tough times, of course with me and the glug glug, etc. but it’s like it’s a whole new thing. Congrats on the 15 years and still flirting 😉


  5. You needn’t be self-conscious to admit that texting has saved your communication. 🙂 We must remember that 21st century life has added new obstacles to maintaining good marriages which our ancestors did not have to conquer. What was considered common decency or normal is liable to have us dismissed as traitors to society if we defend those timeless standards today… Hope you are still blogging on the day of your 50th anniversary. All of us readers will be thrilled! — Tony

  6. Hey Number 9, I’ve been following your sobriety stories and sharing some of my own. The support of other alcoholics/addicts is an important part of recovery. Thanks for sharing your stories of life too.

    I did want to say that I have been part of a lesbian couple for 22+ years. Though we have not gotten married, we are in a committed and loving relationship, have raised a child together, pay taxes, worry about our jobs, volunteer in our community, and do many other things that you do. I respect your Catholic faith and beliefs, and I hope that there is room in the world for other beliefs, faiths and types of couples. We don’t all have to be the same, as long as we treat each other kindly and respectfully.

    Take care,


    • Hi Sibyl! Thank you so much for your comment and for sharing your stories!! And I think you’re modeling respect for each other and differences just beautifully by your comment.

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