Pet Peeves

I’m wondering where the term “pet peeves” came from.  I’ll look it up via the lazy man’s route to information: wikipedia.

A pet peeve is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to them, to a greater degree than others may find it.  Its first usage was around 1919.The term is a back-formation from the 14th-century word peevish, meaning “ornery or ill-tempered”.

Pet peeves often involve specific behaviors of someone close, such as a spouse or significant other.These behaviors may involve disrespect, manners, personal hygiene, relationships, and family issues.

A key aspect of a pet peeve is that it may well seem acceptable to others.

One of my pet peeves is when people apologize, when they share at the meeting, for being late to an AA meeting.  Another is bloggers who apologize for not having posted very much lately—-so I’m not going to apologize for not posting at all lately.

19 thoughts on “Pet Peeves

  1. I can see why people do apologise for being late, as it’s politeness. After all, we have to apologise if we’re late for Office or completely missing without prior permission for whatever reason (well, with some exceptions: when Sr P ended up in hospital because she’d broken her wrist she didn’t have to apologise for missing Mid-Day Office and when I took her to Accident & Emergency in the next town to get it x-rayed and set as our hospital couldn’t do that, I didn’t have to apologise for missing Vespers and Compline). Apologising for not posting, that’s kind of silly, although it is something I do.

    • thank you for your comment faith hope chocolate!!! I have not even gone online lately so just reading these. politeness makes sense. not sure why it bugs me but it does. maybe because the aa meetings to me are like exercising, taking care of myself and if i don’t do it i don’t want to have to apologize to anybody but myself?

      • I see your point! Why not ask at a meeting when people do apologise for them to clarify to whom they are apologising? Are they being polite to the group, or are they apologising to themselves for being – perhaps – not as organised as they feel they ought to be?

        • hee hee… not necessary. part of the whole aa meeting thing is to let everybody be who they need to be. if it bugs me then i can get over it inside my head.

          • Or maybe you could say about it when you speak? It might be that others are having the same problem, but haven’t wanted to say anything themselves. It’s part of being human, that there are things which annoy us, and it may help you and others in the journey.

  2. Agreed. Seems like all some people do is apologize, even for stuff other people do! If you apologize ALL THE TIME, it kind of takes away the value of a genuine apology. Sadly, I think there’s much more going on underneath in those cases, so I do try to look with compassion but it does still irk me a little.

    (Take your time and blog when you have time and feel inspired to do so. I took a couple of weeks off recently due to illness and the blahs. Take care of yourself first girlie.)

  3. I think the toxic part is more the “pet” than the “peeve”. To me, pet implies it is something one is attached to…. and perhaps even likes or nurtures…. even at a minute level. Or they like to complain about it.

    Pet Peeves to me are energy-draining so I do my best to rid myself of them. I often form a mental picture of teflon and seeing minor issues just slide off or fly past. They are not worth our time. And if they accumulate, perhaps, for the sake of one’s own serenity, one should change a setting or behaviour that puts them in the presence of their pet peeves.

    I for example do not see the sense in people bringing small children to AA meetings and letting them be noisy or run wild. Our AA culture seems to tolerate this but my neurological makeup finds this challenging and distracting. My mind immediately presumes the parents are attention-seeking.

    Now I am not talking about the single mom who needs a meeting to stay alive and can’t find or afford baby sitting. I am talking about the recovery couples who continually bring their child/children.

    So what do I do? Rather than let it bother me, I don’t attend those meetings often and then do my best not to think further of it. Nor do I complain much about it. My time and energy are far too valuable.



    • ooooh chaz i am just now back online and reading these comments. good comments and you are right. i like your analogy of the “pet” meaning something we are attached to. good good points, my friend! makes me want to be a better person!!!

  4. Ha ha Regina…you are opening a Pandora’s box with people now wanting to go on about *their* pet peeves…ha ha. But everyone’s got them – could be that quirky thing your boyfriend / girlfriend did that you found endearing which is now something that makes you grind your teeth. My folks certainly have them and I guess the more you look for them, the more we tend to find them, depending on our spiritual condition. I know for me that if I’m not in the best place, I will find almost anything annoying. When my spiritual tank is full, almost nothing bothers me (I said almost – I am not perfect…ha ha).

    As for the apologizing for coming late – yeah, I noticed everyone was doing it when it came time for their share. AA etiquette? Perhaps. I don’t think I ever apologized (rudeness? self-centeredness?) but either works for me. I go through my little phases of annoyance / acceptance, like little cycles. Used to be the slogans, then was those who shared off topic (still bugs me a little bit)…things will come and go. As long as at the end of the day I go to bed clean and not holding resentment, then I am good to go. Opening my heart up to more is a challenge at all times, but I take it on with joy. I need to open myself up more, and that includes those pet peeves.

    Sorry about that, but that’s how I feel 😉


    • thank you paul!! just coming back online to read these and they’re all making me smile. you are so right. and my spiritual tank is very empty right now and that is key. i guess with my back pain thing and missing so many meetings because of that and i never got back on my routine, plus my Lent and my Easter were “unfulfilling” and I felt I was/am not close to God at all. But today feels like a little bit of a tide turn and I am going to pray even though I feel nothing. husband’s drinking again has really affected me but he says he will quit again for 30 days starting today 🙂 not sure why my peace of mind is so dependent on his behavior—must be because my spiritual tank is empty.

  5. I’m cracking up right now. I just posted on saying the words,”I’m sorry” and showing you mean them by putting the correction into the behavior.

    On another note: My pet peeve is when people use too much water. Hmmmm wonder what lesson I need to learn from this?

    Happy Sunday.xox Lisa

    • ha! hi lisa i am just now coming on to read these and they’re making me laugh. i get it about the water! i am the same way. i like to turn the water off when I brush my teeth and Husband and kids leave it running.

  6. Ooops! I just apologised on my blog for being such a rotten blogger lately… 😉

    My pet peeve is kind of a crazy one, I know: I hate when women in high heels walk behind me. The ‘click click click’ behind me makes me NUTS. If it’s in front of me, I totally don’t care, but when it’s behind me, I just want to scream.

    What does it mean, do you think??

    • ha ha ha thank you rising woman!!! i usually don’t get comments via email but i got yours and it made me laugh and actually prompted me to come back on here after my hiatus and these comments are good. hmmm. the high heels clicking behind you thing. let’s think about this? maybe it means you want to leave the past in the past and those clicking heels back there are just annnoying reminders that the past is always still there annoying us! or maybe thats just where i am today?

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