Good Life

Grandma's Tools

How do you pick a sponsor in the 12 Step programs? 

We’re not looking for a best friend here. I tried that. It’s why I recommend a better method. Here’s a simple 5 W’s approach to finding your guide.

Observe what people say as they share in the meetings but be wise — comparing it to what they say before or after the meeting when they’re ‘off stage’. Watch how they treat others. I wish I’d thought to contrast how my first sponsor treated her adult child with how she ‘postured’ at the table. Naturally, the daughter and I eventually both got the same dismissive and critical treatment.

Are the tools of the program evident? All of us come to the table carrying our toolbox. We can’t share what we haven’t got. Has she done the steps? I have a friend right now who picked a sponsor who…

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